Puffo Catto ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Hello, it’s been a while! How are you all? Well, me. Not very good. Life for me has been reallyyy crazy over the past months, I didn’t imagine nor expect everything could turn out as early as that but I think I’m more stable now to give you all a hint of what happened to my sudden hiatus again and share a major and lengthy life update.

I am not someone who has lived enough of my life in this world but as someone who just entered the adulting world. I feel like I have no right to tell this as I might be too young to discuss but I just want to share things I hardly experienced and got a lesson on it the hard way.

It’s true to say that I may be too young at age but I think age doesn’t really matter in discussing serious things in life like this. As much people would say that I should be out of the world instead of taking things too seriously for a very young age, knowing myself more and having fun, I chose this path willingly to observe and reflect on the mistakes and failures I’ve made in the past.

In today’s post, I will be sharing some of the few things I hardly learned in such a young age. Though, it’s nothing compared to the things that an elderly already experienced, I thought I might share as well for the benefit of the younger.

Health is definitely an investment

I hardly learned this lesson. I was born with a weak immune system and was a regular at our local hospitals and that’s basically where all of my parent’s money went to. Every penny was spent on my treatment and because of the lack of financial support, I ended up not finishing the treatment at all. I grew up fine though, I’m almost 25 now, but there are countless episodes of me having an asthma attack throughout my lifetime. I can’t even remember how many times it did.

Being someone who spent their childhood being indoors most of the time, cannot do excessive activities, who’s always sick and has lots of medicines to take every single day. I realized, that being healthy is composed of daily maintenance, vitamins, minerals, supplements, subscribing to a healthy diet and lifestyle. I cannot reach this age now if my parents did not invest on my health. I cannot work and survive an exhausting day if I decided not to adopt being healthy.

Being healthy do not come off cheap, switching to organic and healthy lifestyle is hard and even pricier, that’s why I call it an investment. It’s hard to say no and goodbye to bad old habits especially for people like me who always compromise my health and diet by buying instants instead just to fit in to my monthly budget. So now even with a cute budget, I always make sure to prioritize my health first before other things get in because at the end of the day, I only got me and if I’m not healthy, I cannot work and earn money.

Happiness isn’t just about money

Over the years, my goal as always and even now, as society standards would say or set, is to earn lots of money, be successful, invest to make more just so to be happy with my life and future. Society tells that you become happy if you buy this branded thing, this big house, the newest phone model or an expensive car. I do agree that being financially stable and secure does lessen your problems in the future.

But with today’s situation of the world, having the pandemic, dealing with other viruses, losing loved ones due to the virus, I’ve come to realize that happiness doesn’t just come from money and worldly things instead happiness could also be in lots of forms. I do agree that money can make you feel happy for a certain length of time but I believe that gaining happiness does just revolve or originate from money.

This pandemic that happened and changed the world, made me realize that money can’t bring back dead people, relatives or family. For me, the true definition of happiness is being with your family, being healthy and still be able to eat a hearty meal with them, have a roof above your head, a good place to sleep, a peaceful life, and after years of this pandemic, we are still safe and protected in which money cannot buy or even equal to.

Life is even shorter than you think

I’ve always heard this line over and over ever since I was a kid but I did not really understand the true meaning of it until this pandemic happened. Lots of people I knew and heard from the news have been infected already with the virus, worst had lost the battle, and the shock of the fact that anytime, they could be gone for such a young age or by the fact that we just spoke yesterday and now he/she is gone now, is very traumatic and devastating not just for their family but for their friends.

That’s when I understood and realized that life is even and really shorter than we think it is. Today you might be celebrating an achievement then we don’t know that once you step outside the venue, you’re suddenly gone in this world. That’s definitely not what we want to happen but everything is possible with just a blink of an eye or a snap from a finger.

A lot of us in our generation, were forced to work right after graduating especially for people like me who belongs in the sandwich generation. Though I want to help my family, I also do not want to spend my whole life on just working unhappily on repetitive and boring cycles for the sake of money and career and not pursuing my passion and the things I want to try and explore. I wanted to learn new things that I could love and the things I always wanted to before the life given to me is taken. As much as we can, we must value our borrowed time here in the world, do the things you want to do and break that unhealthy cycle. Enjoy life because we are all timed.

Start saving early even how small it is

As a kid, I don’t know if your parents told you to start saving but I believe all of us had gone to the childhood stage of buying piggy banks then start saving but a few days after, you come break the piggy bank because you want to buy something and ended up not saving anything at all.

Money is not easy to obtain unless you come from a rich family but for us average people who need to work hard to earn that digit, we should not just let all of that money be spent on expenses and not saving a part of it. Life is so uncertain, we can’t predict or don’t know what’s gonna happen next and it’s always a better option to save up for the rainy days instead of spending it on unnecessary items that we can live without. It’s good to treat yourself once in a while but don’t ever forget to always save a portion, let’s say 10, 20 or 30% of your income, whatever you can afford.

I could not stretch this enough as I am also struggling so hard on saving money, but please, always prioritize on saving money from your monthly income no matter how small it is, as long as you save a small portion from your income every payday, that’s what really matters because overtime, you won’t notice it, but your savings are growing. It may not be a big amount as we tend or expect to but at least you’ve saved something out of your salary instead of spending just all of them. As I’ve mentioned earlier about being in a sandwich generation, like me, saving is really hard especially with all the bills and responsibilities you have to take over but even though it’s hard, it’s not an excuse to not save. I’ve realized that with right budgeting, discipline and control, we can definitely save money.

Purchase insurance as early as you can

This might be too hard to start with as a lot of people don’t make this as one of their top priority things to get once they finally have their own salary but for starters like me, being the breadwinner is the sole reason why we need insurance. Not all but majority of our parents and relatives have conditioned our minds to pay back to them or treat them to a nice meal or place once you obtain your first few salaries.

In our Filipino culture, this is no surprise. A lot of us can totally relate to this, that’s why the terminology, sandwich generation, existed. It’s good to pay back your parents for all the goodness, efforts and favors they’ve given to you but don’t forget that you have a life of your own now too so make sure to not get into the loop of being a part of sandwich generation because it’s a trap and it’s really hard to get out of it once you’re in. I am fully aware though that everyone has different situations and hardships but please, consider getting yourself an insurance.

A lot of financial advisors prefer getting your life and health insurance as early as you can especially if you get the insurance with an investment feature because it really is a nice investment both for you and your dependents that both of you can benefit in the future. Insurance can get expensive for startups and older people. Expensive for startups in a sense that someone who just had its first corpo job salary doesn’t get the favorable amount at first but as you gain experience, it gets easier to pay your monthly dues and budgeting will be your best forte while expensive for older people because of the healthy risk they impose.

Achievements could also be in small forms

Have you also had those feelings when you’re at your bed, getting ready to sleep then you decide to scroll a little on your social media then this one friend had the greatest achievement and you suddenly felt like your achievements and progresses are nothing compared to him/her? Well you’re not alone. I always feel this, the feeling of being left behind. Like everything is changing, improving, accelerating and here you are, you’re still you stuck in the same old situation.

I’ve had numerous times of anxiety attacks over my college years and even until today as I am always being triggered just by seeing people’s achievements and triumphs. It’s not that I’m bitter for them but it definitely stirs up my emotions and reality that I begin comparing myself and my achievements. I realized this is one of the most awful thing to feel and I hate it. As society sets the standard that success is about the big things in life such as getting a good paying job, buying your own house and lot, getting your own car, setting up your business, earning more in your successful business, being rich and financially secure, having a family, etc., all the other little things we achieve, which is still an achievement, were being unnoticed.

My boyfriend would always confront me with the hard truth that I tend to be ungrateful with the things I’ve already achieved which I longed for ever since I’m a college student. I keep on overlooking to things, focus and set the standards of my achievements on the bigger things not knowing, myself, that I had some little achievements too and that’s when I realized that I need to learn to be content on all the little things I’ve done so far that I was not able to do before. It’s very hard at first as peer pressure is always on the way and their accounts are just one click away as well but removing my social media was definitely a big help on focusing on my progresses and achievements and stop comparing mine to them.

Love your job and always be grateful for it

The past few months crashed me. This changed my life and I did not even see this coming so early! It almost ended me. I’ve almost given up when I lost the job that provides me food on the table and pays my bill. It was a hard pill to swallow that I finally get what I was wishing so much before: to leave my job because I hate it so much. My life suddenly had a hard turn and one day on May this year, I found myself dumbfounded and crying every night.

On my old blogs, I would overly mention how my schedule is so busy and all over the place that my life is super overwhelming because I don’t love the job I have and I’m always tired. I always complain on my job, have frequent anxiety and panic attacks because of the stress this job gave me and even planned on switching to a better one but I have no courage to risk it yet because we’re still in the middle of a pandemic but the moment I was removed from my job left me utterly surprised.

It’s definitely true that you must be careful of what you wish for because you’ll definitely get it and mine almost ruined my future. I was seriously bothered and sad with the sudden and unexpected change in my life which I haven’t handled so well. I remember that I wished for it, I wanted it so I must not be sad, but I have been crying most of the nights and I’m so confused on what I should do next because it came out of the blue and I was not that prepared yet. But I prayed and prayed to God, asking for his comfort, guidance and strength to let me bounce back again. This is a super hard-learned lesson for me just through halfway of the year that no matter how you hate your job right now, please love it and try to keep it for the meantime. A lot of people need the job you have right now and if you really can’t stay, make sure you have a backup plan first before leaving because going back to scratch is really hard and devastating.

Travel is the best memory to keep

Ever since a kid, I was not granted or brought up to having a great experience in traveling. I don’t have that much memories and I realized just earlier that my life is boring as ever. My mom don’t like to travel as she says it’s very exhausting plus it would also take a lot of money and effort to enjoy that day. I’ve always wanted to feel that excitement of not being able to sleep or eat properly just because how you’re excited you are or pack your things and wake up so early to start the day. I wanted that too.

I’m almost 25 now and to be honest, the last time I traveled was when I’m still at grade school, it was not even that far, and it was even for a school competition! I haven’t enjoyed that travel because first and foremost it needed money in which I don’t have that time and second, it’s for school purposes so it’s not really for leisure. I’ve read somewhere that material things can make you happy for a while and it degrades over time while having memories of good travel is the best memory to keep even in the long run.

A lot of people would say that traveling is a luxury and only people who can afford it can do it but lot of people also says that you need to travel as much as you can especially if you’re young because you won’t be able to do that once you have your own family. I do agree on both of that but I would also like to disagree on some parts of it. I agree that traveling is a leisure that needs money but I totally disagree that traveling is for the rich people only. Same goes with traveling while still young. We can still be able to travel even if we have our families but make it sure that you can afford it.

Always press that record button

Fun fact: I am not camera friendly. I am very shy and intimidated when I know someone is recording me or just taking photos. I don’t know what happened to me but until now, I feel really awkward around the camera. I grew up with low self confidence and esteem but I’m trying to build that and gain more. No matter how hard I try, even now that I’m and adult, I still get really conscious.

If you have been watching my vlogs, most of my videos are showing just my hands and never my face. Even in this blog, I don’t reveal any kind of personal info. It’s just my preference to keep my privacy. I want to not be seen or known. I prefer silent vlogs since I think showing my face or revealing my true identity will not make any difference in vlogging. I am an introverted person and when I’m around people with cameras, I can’t do selfies with them or pose by myself or even when eating outside and the food presentation is really nice, I can’t even take a pic of it because I’m afraid someone might be thinking that I’m ignorant and take pictures of normal food.

Now, I’ve learned a lot. I need to not care too much on what people might think, that no matter how awkward it is, I need to press the record button or take the picture because I want to keep memories for myself. I am a veryyy forgetful person and I couldn’t remember things until there’s some kind of thing that could remind me and in most cases, I am reminded of that memory when I see photos. It doesn’t really matter if I have to show my face, as long as I get some small details like the walls of this restaurant or the detail of this shirt I bought is good enough for me. I’m still in the process to make this as a habit but eventually I wanted to continue this as a routine for my own benefit.

Always be grateful even in the smallest things

Lastly, this is the hardest part of this blog. It’s when being grateful even if it’s just a small thing, a good experience or a bad day. I have been struggling with being grateful and I’m no hypocrite to that. I admit that mostly what I do everyday back then is to grumble on how I hate what I do and I don’t like my life, etc. I have lots of grudges in me that needs some sort of therapy but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I need to start with being grateful first.

I remember last year, in my bullet journal setups, there were months where I had setup a gratitude page wherein I allotted 1 line only to express one thing that I’m grateful for that day. At first, it was really hard to do because I am focused to the good and big things but eventually, I learned to be grateful even in the tiniest and common detail in my day just by having a comfortable shirt to wear, an easy transportation I had for the day or a hearty cooked meal by mom. I really liked that page that I even continued doing it the next month. I don’t know what happened why I had to stop doing it.

I am very much aware that I needed to improve in my attitude especially on being grateful to God. I have been starting to do that again and had a catch up with it when I lost almost everything just a few months ago. It was very hard to thank God in my awful situation but still I did it genuinely with all my heart. I thanked Him for removing me at the job I don’t like, I thanked him that I’m living in this kind of situation, I even thanked him for allowing me not to be rich! It just felt so good to be grateful for the most common, tiniest and unnoticed details we experience everyday.

To be honest, I was really having a hard time writing this post down as it gets deeply into my core in which I, too, have not explored yet. I’m still confused about myself, I’m still young and has a lot to learn. Especially now that I think, I almost hit rock bottom or what they say, the midlife crisis. I think, by writing this, I’ve unlocked a part of me that I’ve never known before. I think that with this situation, I discovered something in me that I have never explored yet. This post may have been very hard to discuss and may not make sense to people, but I hope you got the point.

You may have a lot of plans right now but I believe that once God sees it won’t do any good to you, He will save you and refrain you from doing it by realigning your plans and follow what He wants you to do instead. It may be reallyyyyyyy hard and gets nasty with all the crying, puffy eyes, and runny nose. But at the end of the hard times, you’ll thank Him for saving you to that awful track you’re going.

I am not a perfect person but I hope everyone learns from this post as much as I did. I have experienced an insane amount of pain, anger, anxiety, and sleepless nights recently. I broke my diet, my plans, my goals. I’ve lost sight of everything. I’ve stopped doing the things I love and want. I halted my healthy routines. I subscribed to an unhealthy lifestyle. Everything in my life right now is a mess, I don’t like it but I entrusted everything to God now and I’m doing my best to bounce back.

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